There are a lot of certainties in the NBA. We all know that LeBron is gonna flirt with a triple double almost every game. We know that Kobe will stop at nothing (n-o-t-h-i-n-g) to win. We know Chris Paul has that uncanny knack of making the eye dropping pass. Hell, some of us out there are darn near certain we know that the words "Artest", "Unhappy" and "Shots allocated" will pop up in a headline sometime this year. It's the NBA, for all the undenying variables it presents, certain things don't change. So, for some reason unknown to me (seriously -- I don't know where this idea popped into my head) I began thinking about the Bulls. Yeah, I now that's Joel's job around here, but I couldn't resist. I have come to the conclusion that the only certainty surrounding the Bulls is that we are not one bit certain how this season will go. Make sense? It doesn't I know. But is there any other team out there that has the potential to be either A) Very, very good, B) Make the playoffs but won't be that much of a threat, C) 1st Round Playoff washout or D) A complete disaster? I'm not quite sure there is. Take the East. We know the Cavs, Celtics and Magic will be members of Category A. Toronto, Washington, Miami and Atlanta are all in Category B, but also maybe C. Charlotte, Detroit, Indiana and Philadelphia are all firmly lodged in Group C, with everyone else in Category D -- sorry New York, Milwaukee and New Jersey. In the West, LA, San Antonio and Denver are the trio in Category A. You have Phoenix, Dallas, New Orleans, Portland and Utah in Categories B and some C. Houston, Oklahoma and Golden State lie in Caegory C, with the Clippers, Memphis, Minnesota and Sacramento in D. Any objections? I'm sure you do, there's a little box below for such grievances.
Now, the Bulls. For them to be a member of Category A the following has to happen. Derrick Rose makes a LeBron-esque leap from rookie to sophmore and is completely unstoppable after developing a reliable jumper. Luol Deng returns and reminds us why the Bulls paid him so much money. John Salmons shows us all why they were right to let their leading scorer walk away with a full season of what he did after joining them midway through last season. Oh yeah, anybody else find it weird that having lost their leading scorer they may actually better off without him? Anyways...Ty Thomas and Joakim "I just love to dance" Noah show us all that they are the most promising big man combo in the world, while rookies James Johnson and Taj Gibson show glimpses of their promise. Kirk Hinrich, Jannero Pargo and Lindsey Hunter perform well enough that Rose and Salmons never have to get tired, thus leaving them fresh for the fourth quarter to dominate. Brad Miller, well, he's Brad Miller!!
A Category B season would go like this. Deng takes a long time to find his groove after injury. Derrick Rose still hasn't got a jumper. Slamons morphs into Ben Gordon V2.0. Ty Thomas reminds us all why the Bulls "wanted" to trade him all summer long. The rookies are no good. Kirk Hinrich wants to be traded because Derrick Rose is such a freak athlete he plays full pace for 48 a night. Brad Miller becomes Brad Miller.
Category C, well that's basically the season they had last year without the whole "best playoff series ever" performance they put in. I hope they don't get the Celtics again in the first round, otherwise I'll have to think of a new category.
Now, here's the part where all Bulls fan cringe, because it just might happen folks. Category D -- Disaster. (Please note, I hope none of the following happens). Luol Deng plays ten games of sheer brilliance, but goes down hurt again and misses the remainder of the season. I can't say anything bad about Derrick Rose, I haven't got it in me. John Salmons turns into Ben Gordon except can't make any of the 20 shots he takes a game. Thomas and Noah prove they are the the most ineffective big man duo offensively in the league by settling for jump shots every time down. Hinrich's unhappiness causes major unrest, prompting Hunter and Miller to think "Hey, I'm too old for this, I'm retiring" thuse leaving the Bulls short two key rotation guys. The rookies really are that bad. Vinnie Del Negro lasts the whole season as head coach.
So, where do we put them?